Wayward son has been home for almost a week now. Not counting the second night when he decided to leave in the middle of the night and take all the clothes I had bought him the day before.

Let’s back up a little. We got a call Saturday afternoon while we were out. We didn’t get the “Mom, Dad, it’s R. It’s an emergency.” message until 9:30 pm. Turns out he was in the city. A close relative of the people he was staying with was in the hospital due to a motorcycle accident and he decided to pick that time to get away from them. So, hubs, being dead tired got in the car and went to look for the needle in the haystack. He told us the vicinity he was in. Fortunately hubs is familiar with the city since he drives the bus in to the city for charters. He found him a lot more quickly than I had expected and stopped to get something to eat before coming home. They got home around 11:30 pm.

I went shopping the next day for groceries and got him some of the clothing and toiletry essentials since he left those people with nothing but his wallet. Thankfully he had his id card and medical insurance cards with him. That night he decided he missed “his girl” and tried to go BACK to the home that had treated him so badly. He took all the new stuff I had bought. He had told us that they were making him give them at least half of all of his pay checks. Previously he had supposedly been working for them for “free” to make up for room and board. And yet he wanted to go back. I don’t get it.

Anyway, he was gone for 2 nights. He had been in touch with someone else who contacted us and told us his whereabouts. The first night he had slept in the woods about 5 miles from our house. Hubs had gotten in the car when we realized he was gone at almost midnight and looked for him. R knows the game. He walked through people’s yards to avoid being seen from the road. The day after sleeping in the woods, he got a ride from someone and bought a junk car from them. He has neither a driver license or insurance. He drove this car back to the place he had left and they kicked him off their property. On his way back the car broke down. It was in the area of the person whom he had contacted that had in turn contacted us. So, she told us where he was and that he hadn’t moved and slept in the car that night.

I drove to the location and lo and behold he was still in the disabled car. He had the title, but the title didn’t match the name of the person who sold it to him. Red.Flag. (but not to him). He was in tears saying he wanted to kill himself and blow up the car, etc. I finally convinced him to leave the car and come home and get something to eat and to get some sleep.

We spent the afternoon running around trying to get some stuff in order. We needed to make sure that his last paycheck would at least get to him at our address. I was unable to get in touch with the place he was working for to let them know he would not be in again. But, since this was through a staffing agency we were able to stop at their office and explain and change the address for his paycheck.

He has stayed put since then. He grumbles and complains when we ask him to help around the farm even though we are doing all of this for him. He always did this kind of stuff for the other people he lived with without the fuss. I doubt he will ever change. I told him if he takes off again before we get things straightened out that I am DONE. I will not try to find him. I will not bring him back home. I will not help him get things in order.

We have a lead on a supervised housing placement. He doesn’t like that fact that it will be supervised but we told him it’s either here or there. And it’s not like they’ll follow him around 24/7. He just needs to check in a couple of times a day to make sure he is taking his meds and keeping his Dr. appointments. He can get transportation to his appointments that his medical card will pay for. Apparently staying here is like having the plague. Which is fine by me, because I know he can’t stay here long term. Too much friction and disruption. The sooner we find him a place, the better.

We’ve made him an appointment with his Dr. to restart his meds. We have to wait three weeks to get in. I just hope he doesn’t do anything else without considering the consequences in that time.

The stress of it all caught up with me today and I nearly hyperventilated. As the day wears on things are settling but I know tomorrow and next week brings more. The things we do for our kids…

Called wayward son Sunday afternoon and asked if he wanted a visit.  I don’t think he was on speaker phone and he said yes.  When he turned away to ask the woman he is staying with if she could drop him off at a neutral location later this week I could hear her in the background screaming at him.  She was saying something about “not going to say anything about my daughters”.  I never did hear her lower her voice or answer him.  He told me he would call me back.  I have a feeling he won’t.  I really think he’s afraid of her.   I’m trying to make this so it does not appear that we are trying to threaten them in any way, but if it comes down to it I will show up at their doorstep and take him anyway.  He has missed all of his appointments with his psychiatrist since being with them in April and she is denying him his right to get treatment.  He’s out of meds.  If she wants to play hardball, bring it on.  She doesn’t know who she is messing with.  I don’t want to go in with guns blazing if I don’t have to.  If he does not show up on Thursday as we discussed, then I’ll do what is necessary.  I may even be able to find a police escort to her door through friends of friends.  That’s not a guarantee though.

Bring it on.