We were worried that the dog would scare you. You didn’t mind the dog at all. You loved to watch her tail wag. You would squeal with delight when you saw her. We would say, “Where’s the doggie” and you would look all around for her until you found her. You were fascinated by the ceiling fans (at least while they weren’t moving). You didn’t like them at all when they were moving.

Papa said you should have been a girl cause you loved to look in the mirror. You had a musical crib light that was voice activated and played a lullaby. When we put you to bed you would lay your head down and look at the light and listen to the music. When it was ready to shut off it changed pitch and you always knew right when it was ready to shut off cause you would pick your head up, put your mouth on the speaker and scream so it would come back on. As soon as it came back on you would lay your head back down until the next time it was ready to shut off. You’d do that two or three times until you would finally fall asleep.

At first we used to have to pat your butt to get you to go to sleep. You always needed to know that someone was there before you fell asleep. Then we found out that if we played country music you would settle down enough to fall asleep without so much patting. Eventually it was just enough for us to give you a good night kiss and stand there so you could see us if you looked up. You did like to have your back rubbed though. You played with the hair on the back of your head while you were trying to go to sleep. You had your head really scratched up from that. You used to reach high up to try and reach the mobile that was in your crib.

You’d almost always wake up in the morning in a good mood. (Almost!) Papa and I used to lay in bed and wait for you to start talking before we’d go get you. We’d lay there and giggle when you’d start talking to the puffalump from Jean and Walt. Papa would bring you into our room and put you in bed between us. You loved the attention. Papa says that one morning when I wasn’t home you woke up and he heard you say “Oh My!”.

You just kept getting bigger and stronger and we were so excited with each new accomplishment. You started playing with your toys and amusing yourself for longer periods of time. Sometimes you didn’t even notice when we left the room and when you did, most of the time you didn’t care. You started sitting by yourself once we sat you up. You liked that position cause you had a better view of the room than when you were on your stomach. You started rolling from your back to your stomach but never quite mastered rolling from your stomach to your back (unless of course it was an accident!) You started scooching all over the floor. We had to be careful when we left the room cause you would start out on your blanket but end up at the other end of the room by the time we got back. You would scooch to get a toy that was in front of the TV then look straight up in the air to watch the TV once you got there. You used to cock your head and grin and start to giggle when we’d imitate you.

Football always got your attention when it was on TV. Even though Papa likes baseball, it wasn’t on TV yet. You liked cartoons if they were loud and colorful.

The first time I heard you laugh out loud was when I was taking your pictures to put on our Christmas card. I was by myself and sat you up in the chair and had a stuffed bear that I would shake at you and say “GET YOU!”. You would giggle so hard you would topple right over like a weeble. That was so much fun. I got lots of good pictures that day. It was hard to take your picture sometimes cause I would get you to smile, but as soon as I put the camera in front of my face to take the picture you got confused and would make funny faces.

The first time you reached for me was one day when we came home from work. Candy was holding you in the kitchen and I came out and started talking to her and you lunged forward with your arms outstretched for me to take you. I almost cried that day I was so happy.

We took you to church and everyone loved you. They would all stop and say hello and get you to give them a big smile. There was one lady who sat behind us who would reach forward and rub your back until you fell asleep. You slept in church a lot at first. Then you started staying awake and competed with Rebecca for attention.

You used your chin to play your musical toys. If you had two of them side by side you would take turns with each one turning them on when they would quit then going to the other one and making sure that one was on. You had a set of “keys” that you liked to put in your mouth behind your teeth and shake them like Tink shakes her towel. You’d do that with whatever you could get behind your teeth. You liked to roll your stuff end over end. You would take your popper and put it on its side then put it back up again. You also liked to shake your head “NO” when we’d ask you something.

We’d put you in the highchair and you would start banging your toys on the tray. You liked to throw things on the floor too. We tried to give you a baby biscuit one day and you gave us the most awful face! We laughed so hard when you did that. You couldn’t wait to get that thing out of your mouth. The next day Papa tried to give you a cookie he was eating with icing on it and you made faces but you seemed to like it. He got worried when it dissolved enough and you almost choked on it. It was just a false alarm though.

You made faces when we gave you a bath too. We would wet down your hair and the water would trickle in front of your face and you would cringe then smile when it quit. You were too busy holding on to the sides to splash the water. When we first brought you home we gave you sponge baths cause you would scream bloody murder when we tried to put you in the tub. We finally got you to the point where we would sit you up in the tub which you really liked.

You would rather eat your glasses than wear them. You didn’t like your physical therapy at all but you loved your developmental therapy. The bright sun bothered you. You didn’t like the car seat until your back got strong enough. You didn’t liked to be rocked and held at first but then you liked it a lot.

We loved coming home from work. Papa would walk in the door and yell MIDGET MAN! You’d turn to look for him and give him a great big smile and get all excited to see him. I loved to tickle you. You had the sweetest giggle. We used to call you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute you would be cranky and whining and we’d get down on the floor with you and you brighten up right away like you hadn’t been whining at all.

We love you and miss you so much.

<CLICK FOR MUSIC VIDEO> 

I know your life on earth was troubled
And only you could know the pain
You weren’t afraid to face the devil
You were no stranger to the rain

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

Oh how we cried the day you left us
We gathered ’round your grave to grieve
I wish I could see the Angel’s faces
When they hear your sweet voice sing

Go rest high on that mountain
Son, your work on earth is done
Go to heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

Go to heaven a shoutin’
Love for the Father and the Son

In memory of our son Andrew.

3/25/1994 – 4/24/1995

Because of the fragile state of my mind and body,

The pain in my heart intensifies.

A fleeting reminder of my son

Rips open the wound of grief there.

Pick me up lovingly in Your arms,

And carry me this painful day.

For my strength vanishes and

Leaves me helpless beside the road of life

To perish.

Speak softly to reassure my heart

Of Your loving concern for me.

With it comes comfort for my broken life.

From Your own lips, allow me to hear

Your promises of hope as You carry me this day.

Lord, the storms of grief rage in my heart.

My soul is dashed against the rocks in the sea of life.

But as You carry me gently this painful day,

Peace from You finds its way into my life,

And with it comes a calm lull in the storm.

The grief and pain

From the death of my son

Still linger in my heart,

But with Your strength and help, Lord,

I can continue my journey in this world.

By Elizabeth Freeze

Greensboro, North Carolina

While Andrew was with us, he had a nurse named Sarah that stayed with him while we worked. Sarah had a son named Eli. We heard a lot about Eli while Andrew was in Sarah’s care. Eli was the light of Sarah’s life. He was a teenager at the time.

When Andrew died, Sarah was there for us as well. She could not imagine what it was like to lose a child. Today, I opened the paper to the obituaries, which I do every day, only to find Eli’s obituary there. My mouth hit the floor and tears welled up in my eyes. Eli was only 29 and died unexpectedly. He died on Andrew’s 13th birthday. Although it’s been 12 years for us, it seems like only yesterday Sarah and I talked about our sons.

My heart and prayers are with Sarah and her family today. Words just cannot express my feelings….